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Watching porn is a rite of passage for most men. It begins with several visuals, like this proverbial Playboy magazine several friends passes around prior to they are old enough to know what it all means. Eventually a man discovers the visual and aural stimulation of moving video, and that often begins a lifelong love of porn. In fact, the sore penis that results from much too much porn watching might become a man’s first foray into figuring out good penis care.

But when a guy begins to take pleasure from pleasure with someone outside the screen, he is all too often disappointed by the vast gulf between what porn teaches him and what really happens in the bedroom. For the uninitiated, here are a few things to never actually expect to translate from the screen to the bedroom.

1) Perfect bodies. All the participants in a porn video tend to be very young and healthy. And when they aren’t, the video producers use tricks of camera angles and lighting to hide any flaws. The result may be the belief that a woman should look a certain way, and a guy should too. That may definitely lead to disappointment in the bedroom.

2) Instant hardness. Men in porn have become rarely observed in a flaccid state. As soon as a woman walks over the screen, they’re hard enough to crush diamonds. The truth is that most porn productions work with a ‘fluffer’ – a woman whose only job would be to get yourself a man hard before he walks onscreen. What is apparently ‘instant’ really is just an illusion.

3) She gets off fast. Women in porn seem to feel as though every touch is orgasmic, and they appear to have numerous orgasms throughout one session. The simple truth is very different. Women usually need a very specific kind of stimulation, for much more than just a few seconds, to get turned on – significantly less to get off.

4) Noise, noise, noise! A porn video is filled with aural stimulation, which is part of why most guys love it so much. And who wouldn’t? The thing is that women aren’t really likely to make noises like that between the sheets. Sure, they could be enthusiastic and make some noise, but the sounds in a porn film won’t likely be replicated in the bedroom.

5) Money shots. Here’s an interesting stat: porn actors ejaculate somewhere other than the vagina 81 percent of that time period. Usually they do it on her behalf body or mostly, her face. The thing is that 80 percent of women in real life report not liking that one move. So unless she approves beforehand, don’t expect to replicate this.

6) Crazy moves. Remember the ‘fluffer’ and the illusion she creates? The same thing is true of a female who can do wild things in porn, like anal sex without the preparation, or double penetration. In each case, the problem has been prepped and carefully coordinated off-camera. Again, don’t be prepared to replicate things like this!

Staying ready for genuine

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